Longing

1997

longing
it's a unique feeling
strange at first and a little sweet
but soon
it becomes a knot in my stomach
and spontaneous tears
at embarrassing moments

it's hunger
but food will not satisfy
nor is any palatable
so doubly do i suffer
drink quenches for a time
but enough leads to coma
and waking worse

i drive myself to action
for work forces thoughts of you behind
for a time
but then action fails
and i stumble again, lost
and self critical
of my state of heart and mind