where now is my fire?

1998

where now is my fire?
all that seems left is a husk, blackened, twisted
my words clipped, stilted, boring
my thoughts, even of you, tired
i long for the power of passion
that thrusts my whole being to the peak of its ability
but all i have is this limited intellect
crushingly boring

sometimes i wake

1998

sometimes i wake so sure you called my name
then later, lucid
acceptence and denial struggle out a truce
of maybe's

again i hear your words and see your face
again i feel our pain
i miss your lovely words
like soft rain upon my back
the constant simple praise
that calmed my tortured soul

i'll pretend that it is so

A Dedication

1998


all that i write
is all that i am
and all i will be
and all that i plan

and right at the core
of all that is me
is a child of the waves
for she set me free

so these poems are hers
i relinquish all claim
and as long as i live
it's her you should blame

:~)

Come Death

1998

come death
come quick
let me pass
give me your tick
i've nothing here
take me away
she is gone
take me i pray

Heaven and Hell

1998

from bottom to top
i've walked the path
and back again
but that's not half
i've been to heaven
now to hell
and here i fear
is where i'll dwell

I threw bread upon the water

1998

I went to the river
and threw bread upon the water
and my dumb dog
dragged it back sodden
and dropped it in my lap

then he shook himself dry
all over my self-contempt
and grinned his dumb grin
as if to say
"it could be worse"

true love lost

1998

There was really only you and I but then the others came
with stars and cards and even friends to douse our vital flame
and though with honour we did walk and truth was in our hearts
it fell in ruin and we are lost and forever now apart

I guess that i am most to blame for patience have i none
and though i tried to quell my heart our love was all undone
now all alone to walk this earth with nowhere i can rest
for you to me are lost it seems and i have failed the test

I'll wait and maybe time will break the bonds that hold you fast
and on some distant future day we'll make another start
On that fine day a call will come or letter in the mail
that all my life i will expect for true love never fails

Again will you and i be one as we were meant to be
and from that day forever more our love will be set free
So love me yet and don't forget what we together shared
for it was ours and ours alone and we were rightly paired

So love me yet and don't forget what we together share
for it is ours and ours alone and I hope you still care

all that's left is dreams

1998

I walk on lonely through this life
a smile upon my face
but in my heart is emptiness
it is a hollow place.

I'll find a way to give to all
what they are sure to lack
but i will never have my peace
and there is no way back.

I have no skill with anything
that has much worth at all
a trickle here or there of words
but then i drop the ball.

I've tried a time or two to find
some love to fill my life
succeeded once in all these years
but she is someone's wife.

A simple friendship innocent
across an ocean wide
of simple thoughts and kindly words
but then the friendship died

For we forgot the world at large
and everything that means
and now we both have lost it all
and all that's left is dreams

Come to me oh Irish

1998

come to me oh Irish and do what you do well
i've hunger for your amber ways and with you i would dwell
i've many reasons good and bad with you to share some time
and you have never let me down but that's true of your kind

so come and make me what i'd be and let me pain forget
and we will up and down a spell - you'll be my best friend yet
i've never known the likes of you to fall below the mark
though emptiness between us both has drowned my vital spark

your heavy crystal friendship often finds me at my best
or worst maybe but that's just half and you provide the rest
i guess that's why i've loved your ways each time we've done our dance
there's nothing that looks quite as good as that which you enhance

so let us do our best to make an effort to forget
and drown our troubled souls with what with you i always get
and so it seems my life will be as well it might or stop
but you my friend will always be, upon my shealth, the top

Hope

1998

my flame i know burns pure and clean
and though i stand alone
i hope that i will find a dream
and not be left as stone

but where to look and why at all
is what i can not stand
for looking will defeat the goal
and love cannot be planned

it takes a while for me to trust
and open up my heart
for what i've had has turned to dust
and torn my heart apart

so love for me takes many years
and even then i quake
for always i've been left in tears
and all my life's at stake

and now again it seems i've lost
and lost far more than hope
for i had found my dream at last
so how then shall i cope?