Showing posts with label Bush Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bush Poetry. Show all posts

Wednesday 31 August 2011

Mining is making us lazy

some poet (AlanR) posted on http://www.macrobusiness.com.au/2011/08/mining-is-making-us-lazy/

The graph suggests we’re up the creek,
as all the minerals start to peak.



to which i reply:


It's not the peaking mining
but peaking Peking signing
if China slows nobody grows
but maybe i'm just whining


i contend the real growth
is immigrants you see
the money from the minerals
is just some cream to me


to me or rather some fat cat
who sells our mineral wealth
and takes his a cut of riches
by law and maybe stealth


the falling productivity?
well gee i guess we must
bring harder workers from afar
it's that or we go bust



Thursday 11 August 2011

'cause our brand name is "Australia"


if you need a tune try this

we've kangaroos and wallabies and emus too in plenty
but they don't greet your flight to Sydney when you make your entry
and why you come to be with us is not for pets i tell ya
the simple reason is because our brand name is "Australia"

chorus:

    our brand name is Australia mate we're proud of that i tell ya
    and if you had an image like ours it would never fail ya
    and everybody everywhere wants everything we've got
    we're flamin' great i tell ya mate in fact we're bloody hot!

refrain:

    prawns on the barbie and sauce on ya pie
    prawns on the barbie and sauce on ya pie

our coastline is a million miles of paradise and beaches
and everywhere the girls in skimpy cossies bare their peaches
but it's not girls i tell ya mate or beer kegs in the trailer
the reason that we're famous is our brand name is "Australia"

(chorus and refrain)

we've immigrants from everywhere who've brought their ways of cooking
and any place that's great to eat at never needs a booking
and every stupid foreign critic soon becomes a failure
and that's because i tell ya mate our brand name is "Australia"



(chorus and refrain)

the Opera House and Harbour Bridge are just two of our treasures
and every where you go to visit showers you with pleasures
but you will have to check it out 'cause we're not gonna mail ya
but that's OK, because of course our brand name is "Australia"



(chorus and refrain)

while all the world is suffering with falling housing prices
and everywhere the people fear political devices
right here within the Lucky Country nothing's gonna fail ya
and that's because as we all know our brand name is "Australia"



(chorus and refrain)


if you liked this you might also like "The Great Australian Poem"


Wednesday 10 August 2011

The Great Australian Poem

'twas in a pub on Oxford Street
one torrid summer night
a gathering of poets ended
in a fearful fight

as eloquent and timbered voices
lilted out their verse
a drunken long-haired patron stood
and threw curse after curse

our learned poets persevered
pretending not to hear
and all the while the drunken lout
did curse and swill his beer

"you call your rubbish poetry
you pissy pointless slime
your stupid wanky poems, well
they do not even rhyme"

then as the reading faltered
(and the poets "piqued their ire")
a member of the audience
stood up and did inquire:

"so if you think their verse is bad
why don't you just get out?
We really don't enjoy the way
you curse and sneer and shout"

"You're just a drunken so-and-so
and these are learned folk
so please oh please get up and go
you loud and boring soak"

"Inebriated? i'll be damned!"
the drunkard waved his glass
"i'll challenge all you brainless yobs
i'll teach you all some class"

the poets grinned behind their hands
and snickered to the crowd
they knew full well this no-name fool
would fail if just allowed

the dais was vacated then
the poets stood near-by
the boozer ordered "fill 'er up
'cause speakin' makes me dry"

he teetered as he passed the bar
to grab his cold VB
and then he stood before the group
and dusted off his knee

and so it was he started
with poems quite well known
by great Australian poets that
we love and call our own

but he had quite a talent
for speaking Aussie verse
his words were crisp his vowels thick
his humour quite perverse

and do you know those poets there
were taken by surprise?
they'd never guessed such eloquence
from one you might despise

and as he finished off each poem
they commented and cheered
they talked of who the author was
and why he was revered

they had some pride in history
and more in what they knew
until the final poem left them
all in quite a stew

they'd never heard it - not one word
they all of them were stumped
the boozer spoke the final line
and then his chest he thumped

"so all you cleva fellahs
never heard that one before?"
and then he finished off his beer
and headed for the door

he left them there all arguing
each claiming that they knew
and soon it came to fighting
as their agitation grew

the conflict soon became too much
- the bouncers pushed them out
then out there on the footpath
one erupted with a shout:

"i say it's Henry Lawson!
unpublished but his best!"
another poet yelled "not so!"
and punched him in the chest

"it's Paterson i tell you!"
he raised a hairy fist
a smaller poet intervened
and grabbed him by the wrist

and as he screamed "it's Ogilvie!"
and clawed his larger foe
a crowd had gathered in the street
who stood and watched the show

and standing there among them with
a smile from ear to ear
unpublished and unknown at all
a Poet without peer

he'd saved a great tradition
passed down from days of old
The Great Australian Poem now
has finally been told

if you liked this you might also like "silly little Julia"


(what IS the Greatest Australian Poem? - check here Yahoo Answers)

feel free to comment - i'll not take offence

p


Tuesday 9 August 2011

Things are different here

For Mish Shedlock (here and here and here  and here and others)


when things turn to shit in Australia
the Government always steps in
the easiest thing and always the first
is to let lots more migrants come in

you'll know when this starts to happen
'cause there'll be claims "we don't have the skills"
then quota's go up and criteria down
and the media mob are all shills

and on top of that repeating pattern
will be First Home Grants tax free and huge
and all sellers will then up their prices
'cause they know that the buyer's a stooge

if you look out your window in Sydney
no "house for sale" signs will you see
'cause people hold on to illusions
and forever that's likely to be

so Mish though i note that you're clever
and live in a land full of woe
i do doubt the future you posit
(and now i must work so i'll go)



see also - in order of publication - ie oldest first:

      Waging  a Property Price War - an interesting counter to Mish's arguments which he takes largely from Steve Keen
      Updated Credit Accelerators - as good an entry point into Steve Keen's work as any

      Keen's House Price Hit Won't Happen - another attack on Steve Keen's projection

      The US vs Australian Bubble - excellent analysis by macrobusiness.com.au - very quickly becoming the premier Australian financial blog

      Melbourne housing supply goes ballistic - another  macrobusiness.com.au post

      Buyers exit market amid housing squeeze - from the ABC

      Houses looking Good - Macrobusiness.com.au

      Move Up Buyer Fenzy! - ditto

      New home sales rise from the floor - again

      R P Data report

      Melbourne bubble bursts

      more bear, more bull and more bear

      SMH chips in with a bear headline

      SMH: New home sales buoyed by rate cut

      ABC: Construction on shaky ground as slump persists

      MB: HIA says house sales up, unit sales down

      MB: Approvals bounce in number, fall in value

      ABC: Home building approvals soar

      MB: Melbourne rental vacancies skyrocket

      Business Spectator: Housing Bubble Denier TroubleHouse price slump unlikely: Hirst

      These two on the same day from same data:

            MB: House prices resume falls

            SMH: House prices may have hit bottom

      Steve Keen surfaces after a long break: House Prices outlook for 2012

      SMH: Record slump in house prices in 2011

      MB: (all on same day)

            ABS: House prices continue to fall

            Hope springs eternal in NAB housing survey

            New home sales slump again

            Kochie and Louis

      SMH: A property crash? Don't bet on it

      MB:
            Comparing the big three house price indexes

            Building disapprovals

      MB: REIWA’s desperate plea to boomers

      MB: Housing stock on market falls
   
      MB: Two speed Rents

      MB: Welcome back Kohler

      MB: A housing bull slows up

      MB: Auction clearance rates

      MB: Home sales rout

      MB: RP Data

      MB: Australian vs Canadian Property

      Mish Shedlock spoofing again: Bloodbath coming up and again Recession hits Aus

      Business Speculator: Housing boom returns but...

      MB: First home buyers retreat...

      MB: House prices rise in Feb...

This article gives you an idea of how i see it: from the immigrants side


      "Our brand name is Australia" a poem written at the same time and with reference to Aussie home prices


note also that my poem is just a poem - my opinion is not that of an economist but rather is representing a common meme in Australia - right or wrong


p